If you were playing in the style of Jason, what would your ultimate strat be?
I thought no one would ever ask. To be honest, this is a question I have long dreamed of asking and have spent no less than 666 days coming up with an answer.
You’ll need to choose a proper hero. Truth be told, Stitches is the only one with somewhat matching weaponry. He even has a skin with the hockey mask. Aside from that, they are both huge. It’s a match made in hell.
Get into the mindset of Jason. He doesn’t talk so you’ll need to avoid chat entirely. Go ahead and turn off all in-game sound effects and trade them out for your theme music. Play this in the background on a loop to remind yourself you’re out to take vengeance on those f*cking camp kids.
You are a stalker. Choose your victim wisely. Generally, they consist of young upstarts engaging in risky teen behavior. While there are no drugs or sex in Heroes, there are younger characters, so they’ll have to do. Females with overly large breasts and douchebag bros are your best bet. Kerrigan, Uther, Nova, Chen, Tyrael, Raynor, Valla and Tyrande all fit the bill rather well. If you want to break free from the stereotype, choose characters based on your own projections. Zagara look like that crazy teacher that just wants to fail you? Stalk her instead.
Time to set up the tactics. As a stalker, you need to be silent, persistent and slow. Hide in the bushes where your target is and simply watch them. If they leave, follow them at a safe distance, but do not engage just yet. So far they’ve only been killing the minions. Keep on their tail until they are doing something you find personally repulsive before passing your ultimate verdict. Maybe they straight up smacked around one of your towers. Maybe they keep trying to grab merc camps. Either way, what they do should have no redeeming characteristics.
Their time has come. Hopefully by now they are unnerved that you’ve done nothing but follow them around. This is great. This means they will make mistakes because they start to believe in a twisted sense of trust in the belief that you won’t hurt them. After choosing Gorge, let the games begin. Kidnap them in your belly and transport them to your turf. Once they are trapped, you can begin the slaughter. Though they will resurrect, only focus on them in team fights. They are the only one that deserves your type of divine torture.
If the classic Halloween horrors played Heroes, which heroes would they pick?
Interesting you should ask! I have spent upward of 666 days formulating the best answers I could find. While it may not cover all the heroes and villains, it certainly hits on the best matches.
Dracula = Anuba’rak – Both are undead and have a way to suck the life from opponents in order to regenerate themselves. They are truly plagues upon this good earth.
Frankenstein's Monster = Li Li – The monster never wanted to harm anyone; it was the humans that made him out to be such a creature. Besides, remember how stiffly he moves around. He needed a character he could play well simply by mashing keys.
Regan MacNeil/Pazuzu = Murky – Taking control of innocent children and forcing them to spew a disgusting green liquid is one of the many endearing qualities of this demon.
Freddy = Malfurion – Hear me out on this one! Is there any other hero that has access to a dream world? Not at all. My bets are on Freddy polluting the Emerald Dream and taking control of ol’ Antler Head.
Pinhead = Azmodan – Piercings and summoning things from realms of torture make me wonder if the two aren’t somehow related. Cousins?
Michael Myers = Uther – No matter what you do, he just won’t die.
Jigsaw = Gazlowe – It’s all about the traps!
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man = Tyrael - We all loved Tyrael as children. He was someone that could never, ever possibly destroy you.
Samara/Sadako = Demon Hunter – Everyone who’s seen The Ring knows what an impressive evade mechanic she has. In addition, both clearly made some type of sinister pact with the afterlife to continue raining vengeance upon their enemies.
The Thing = Abathur – Being able to mimic anything perfectly while look hideous in the original form is the definition of these horror beasts.
Alien = Zeratul – They are both very stealthy aliens with a neon green motif.
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