What’s something surprising you’ve learned since you’ve been playing?
To go slower.
Let me just reiterate how I feel when I am signed up for a versus game. Adrenaline starts coursing through my veins, causing my hands to shake and sweat and my mouth to go dry. It always happens no matter what! On top of that, I get that butterfly/nausea effect in my stomach and then I’m expected to play a strategically intense, fast-paced game—and win! In fact, I’m expected to play it better than five strangers.
Valla was my first. I leveled her. I spent time researching a great talent build. And while she was still formidable, I still fell prey to many dumb things. Then, the reset came, and I left her alone in favor of other heroes like Stitches, Rehgar and ETC. Yet, the other night, I was drawn back to her because of quests I had. As the game started, I had an epiphany.
Slow the f*ck down. And of course I don’t mean move slower. I mean take a few more seconds to aim that shot. Take a few seconds in the beginning to really think about your opponent’s team composition so you can build a formidable hero. Heck, even take time behind the gate to see which enemy hero is in your lane. By giving yourself these split seconds of calm time and analysis, you can really get your frame of mind where it needs to be. One of my favorite thoughts is now determining during the countdown to game time who I need to harass to help my team win a 5v5.
Little by little I’m coming to subtle realizations that are completely changing the game for me as I improve. Two others include to always expect the overly chatty players in the beginning to be harassers if you start losing, and heroes that don’t join team fights are merely less experienced and not malicious.
If the Heroes were in a teen slasher, who would die when?
Ooooooooo, definitely a great question to ask! Sadly, all the heroes would just be too large a cast, but you knew this!
On to the answers!!
First to Die: Barbarian
If we’re going by slashers starting with Halloween and ending with Scream’s incredibly well done parody of the genre, the first to die is actually an establishing female (even though we all know the joke is the black guy dies first). She is somewhat tied to the main characters but only so much that they notice the girl is missing. Diablo wouldn’t care, Demon Hunter would be mildly unimpressed, and the rest of the heroes would go on.
Second to Die: Tyrael
Sorry, dear angel. You are the only black man in the entire line up.
Third to Die: Nova
Next is the promiscuous one. While all the women, save Hammer, are extremely gifted with their proportions, she’s the only one overtly sexualized by the fan base.
Fourth to Die: Stitches
Let’s not lie to ourselves, Stitches ain’t exactly a smarty. He can barely stitch together coherent sentences much less evade a serial killer.
Fifth to Die: Raynor
Sure, you wanted to hate the guy, but he’s just so lovable. He’s the bro that everyone loves. Unfortunately, this makes him a liability as he is often too good and will sacrifice himself for the sake of others. He is also usually romantically linked to the slutty one.
Final Girl: Sgt. Hammer
She’s smart and she’s noble but not to a fault. In reality, she is the everyman thrust into a horrible situation, making Hammer the perfect choice.
The Killer: Tyrande
Sometimes you can be too good, and Tyrande falls into this category. She’s paired with a man who’s, for all intents and purposes, a living god. She’s also been alive for, like, ever. Who wouldn’t get bored?
Ask DrmDestryr is your weekly Q&A/advice column for Heroes of the Storm. Have a question for DrmDestryr? E-mail her your mental musings at firstname.lastname@example.org or send happy twoughts her way @DrmDestryr.